Can a person really learn to become more assertive?
My own personal experience in needing to develop more confidence and assertiveness when I was younger, combined with having worked successfully in assisting many other people to discover greater assertiveness, convinces me that there are assertive skills and principles that we can learn to apply in our lives.
Will change be easy?
Well for most of us, it takes considerable effort to make any type of change to our behaviour. Just think about times when you have attempted to change your diet, or to exercise more, or when you have vowed to be more organised.
So I wouldn't say it is easy, but definitely achievable - if you have the right motivation, take some time for self-reflection and you have some guidance along the way. If you are inherently someone who avoids conflict, it will also take effort to identify the thoughts and beliefs that may be getting in the way of your progress.
The assertive approach
If you have an issue or problem with someone else, let's say a co-worker for example, the assertive approach to the situation is calmly explaining the nature of your concern to the person and asking for their help in resolving the issue.
It's about being willing to listen to their side of the situation, and yet still speaking up for what you would like in order to try and achieve a fairer outcome.
Assertive Video - Change Your Thinking
In this short video clip, I speak about the need to change your thinking as the first step towards becoming more assertive ....